"Yes, which is part of what brings me to you." Palli leaned forward intently. "Would you be willing to repeat, under oath before the daughter's conclave, the tale you told me in Valenda about how the Jironals sold you to the galleys?"

Cazaril hesitated. "I have only my word to offer as proof, Palli. too weak to topple dy Jironal, I assure you."

"Not alone, no. But it might be just the coin to tip the scale, the straw to light the fire."

Just the straw to stand out from all the others? Did he want to be known as the pivot of this plot? Cazaril's lips screwed up in dismay.

"And you're a man of reputation," Palli went on persuasively.

Cazaril jerked. "No good one, surely... !"

"What, everyone knows of Royesse Iselle's clever secretary, the man who keeps his own counsel—and hers—the Bastion of Gotorget—utterly indifferent to wealth—"

"No, I'm not," Cazaril assured him earnestly. "I just dress badly. I quite like wealth."

"And possessing the Royesse's total confidence. And don't pretend a courtier's greed to me—with my own eyes I saw you turn down three rich roknari bribes to betray gotorget, the last while you were starving near to death, and I can produce living witnesses to back me."

"well, of course I didn't—"

"your voice would be listened to in council, Caz!"

Cazaril sighed. "I... I'll think about it. I have nearer duties. Say that I'll speak in the sealed session if and only if you think my testimony would be truly needed. Temple internal politics are no business of mine." A twinge in his gut made him regret that word choice. I fear I am afflicted with the goddess's own internal politics, just now.

Palli's happy nod claimed this as a firmer assent than Cazaril quite wished. He rose, thanked Cazaril, and took his leave.

Two afternoons later, Cazaril was sitting unguardedly at his worktable mending his pens when a page of the Zangre entered his antechamber and announced, "Here is Dedicat Rojeras, in obedience to the order of the Royesse Iselle, m'lord."

Rojeras was a man of about forty, with sandy red hair receding a little from his forehead, freckles, and keen blue eyes. The man's trade was recognizable by the green robes of a lay dedicat of Cardegoss's Temple Hospital of the Mother's Mercy that swung at his brisk step, and his rank by the master's braid sewn over his shoulder. Cazaril knew at once that none of his ladies could be the quarry, or the Mother's Order would have sent a woman physician. He stiffened in alarm, but nodded politely. He rose and turned to convey the message to the inner chambers only to find Lady Betriz and the royesse already at the door, smiling unsurprised greetings to the man.

Betriz dropped a half curtsey in exchange for the dedicat's deep bow, and said, "This is the man I told you about, Royesse. The Mother's senior divine says he has made a special study of wasting diseases, and has apprentices who've traveled from all over Chalion to be taught by him!"

So, Lady Betriz's excursion to the temple yesterday had included more than prayers and charity offerings. Iselle had less to learn about court conspiracies than Cazaril had thought. She'd certainly smuggled this past him smoothly enough. He was ambushed, and by his own ladies. He smiled tightly, swallowing his fear. The man had none of the luminous signs of second sight about him; what could he tell from Cazaril's mere body?

Iselle looked the physician over and nodded satisfaction. "Dedicat Rojeras, please examine my secretary and report back to me."

"Royesse, I don't need to see a physician!" And I most especially don't need a physician to see me.

"Then all we shall waste is a trifle of time," Iselle countered, "which the gods give us each day all the same. Upon pain of my displeasure, I order you to go with him, Cazaril." There was no mistaking the determination in her voice.

Damn Palli, for not only putting this into her head, but teaching her how to block his escape. Iselle was too quick a study. Still... the physician would either diagnose a miracle, or he would not. If he did, Cazaril could call for Umegat, and let the saint, with his undoubted high connections to the Temple, deal with it. And if not, what harm was in it?

Cazaril bowed obedient, if stiffly offended, assent, and led his unwelcome visitor downstairs to his bedchamber. Lady Betriz followed, to see that her royal mistress's orders were carried out. She offered him a quick apologetic smile, but her eyes were apprehensive as Cazaril closed his door upon her.

Shut in with Cazaril, the physician made him sit by the window while he felt his pulse and peered into his eyes, ears, and throat. He bade Cazaril make water, which he sniffed and studied in a glass tube held up to the light. He inquired after Cazaril's bowels, and Cazaril reluctantly admitted to the blood. Then Cazaril was required to undress and lie down, and suffer to have his heart and breathing listened to by the man's ear pressed to his chest, and be poked and prodded all over his body by the cool, quick fingers. Cazaril had to explain how he came by his flogging scars; Rojeras's comments upon them were limited to some hair-raising suggestions of how he might rid Cazaril of his remaining adhesions, should Cazaril desire it and gather the nerve. Withal, Cazaril thought he would prefer to wait and fall off another horse, and said so, which only made Rojeras chuckle.

Rojeras's smile faded as he returned to a more careful, and deeper, probing of Cazaril's belly, feeling and leaning this way and that. "Pain here?"

Cazaril, determined to pass this off, said firmly, "No."

"How about when I do this?"

Cazaril yelped.

"Ah. Some pain, then." More poking. More wincing. Rojeras paused for a time, his fingertips just resting on Cazaril's belly, his gaze abstracted. Then he seemed to shake himself awake. He reminded Cazaril of Umegat.

Rojeras still smiled as Cazaril dressed himself again, but his eyes were shadowed with thought.

Cazaril offered encouragingly, "Speak, Dedicat. I am a man of reason, and will not fall to pieces."

"Is it so? Good." Rojeras took a breath and said plainly, "My lord, you have a most palpable tumor."

"Is... that it," said Cazaril, gingerly seating himself again in his chair.

Rojeras looked up swiftly. "This does not surprise you?"

Not as much as my last diagnosis did. Cazaril thought longingly of what a relief it would be to learn that his recurring belly cramp was such a natural, normal lethality. Alas, he was quite certain that most people's tumors didn't scream obscenities at them in the middle of the night. "I have had reasons to think something was not right. But what does this mean? What do you think will happen?" He kept his voice as neutral as possible.

"Well..." Rojeras sat on the edge of Cazaril's vacated bed and laced his fingers together. "There are so many kinds of these growths. Some are diffuse, some knotted or encapsulated, some kill swiftly, some sit there for years and hardly seem to give trouble at all. Yours seems to be encapsulated, which is hopeful. There is one common sort, a kind of cyst that fills with liquid, that one woman I cared for held for over twelve years."

"Oh," said Cazaril, and produced a heartened smile.

"It grew to over a hundred pounds by the time she died," the physician went on. Cazaril recoiled, but Rojeras continued blithely, "And there is another, a most interesting one that I have only seen twice in my years of study—a round mass that, when opened, proved to contain knots of flesh with hair and teeth and bones. One was in a woman's belly, which almost made sense, but another was in a man's leg. I theorize that they were engendered by an escaped demon, trying to grow to human form. If the demon had succeeded, I posit that it might have chewed its way out and entered the world in fleshly form, which would surely have been an abomination. I have for long wished to find such another one in a patient who was still alive, that I might study it and see if my theory is so." He eyed Cazaril in speculation.

With the greatest effort, Cazaril kept himself from jolting up and screaming. He glanced down at his swollen belly in terror, and carefully away. He had thought his affliction spiritual, not physical. It had not occurred to him that it could be both at once. This was an intrusion of the supernatural into the solid that seemed all too plausible, given his case. He choked out, "Do they grow to a hundred pounds, too?"

"The two I excised were much smaller," Rojeras assured him.

Cazaril looked up in sudden hope. "You can cut them out, then?"

"Oh—only from dead persons," said the physician apologetically.

"But, but... might it be done?" If a man were brave enough to lie down and offer himself in cold blood to razor-edged steel... if the abomination could be carved out with the brutal speed of an amputation... Was it possible to physically excise a miracle, if that miracle were in fact made flesh?

Rojeras shook his head. "On an arm or a leg, maybe. But this... You were a soldier—you've surely seen what happens with dirty belly wounds. Even if you chanced to survive the shock and pain of the cutting, the fever would kill you within a few days." His voice grew more earnest. "I have tried it three times, and only because my patients threatened to kill themselves if I would not try. They all died. I don't care to kill any more good people that way. Do not tease and torment yourself with such desperate impossibilities. Take what you can of life meantime, and pray."

It was praying that got me into this—or this into me... "Do not tell the royesse!"

"My lord," said the physician gravely, "I must."

"But I must not—not now—she must not dismiss me to my bed! I cannot leave her side!" Cazaril's voice rose in panic.

Rojeras's brows rose. "Your loyalty commends you, Lord Cazaril. Calm yourself! There is no need for you to take to your bed before you feel the need. Indeed, such light duties as may come your way in her service may occupy your mind and help you to compose your soul."

Cazaril breathed deeply, and decided not to disabuse Rojeras of his pleasant illusions about service to the House of Chalion. "As long as you make it clear that I am not to be exiled from my post."

"As long as you grasp that this is not a license to exert yourself unduly," Rojeras returned sternly. "You are plainly in need of more rest than you have allowed yourself."

Cazaril nodded hasty agreement, trying to look at once biddable and energetic.

"There is one other important thing," Rojeras added, stirring as if to take his leave but not yet rising. "I only ask this because, as you say, you are a man of reason, and I think you might understand."

"Yes?" said Cazaril warily.

"Upon your death—long delayed, we must pray—may I have your note of hand saying I might cut out your tumor for my collection?"

"You collect such horrors?" Cazaril grimaced. "Most men content themselves with paintings, or old swords, or ivory carvings." Offense struggled with curiosity, and lost. "Um... how do you keep them?"

"In jars of wine spirits." Rojeras smiled, a faint embarrassed flush coloring his fair skin. "I know it sounds gruesome, but I keep hoping... if only I learn enough, someday I will understand, someday I will be able to find some way to keep these things from killing people."

"Surely they are the gods' dark gifts, and we cannot in piety resist them?"

"We resist gangrene, by amputation, sometimes. We resist the infection of the jaw, by drawing out the bad tooth. We resist fevers, by applications of heat and cold, and good care. For every cure, there must have been a first time." Rojeras fell silent. After a moment he said, "It is clear that the Royesse Iselle holds you in much affection and esteem."

Cazaril, not knowing quite how to respond to this, replied, "I have served her since last spring, in Valenda. I had formerly served in her grandmother's household."

"She is not given to hysterics, is she? Highborn women are sometimes..." Rojeras gave a little shrug, in place of saying something rude.

"No," Cazaril had to admit. "None of her household are. Quite the reverse." He added, "But surely you don't have to tell the ladies, and distress them, so... so soon?"

"Of course I do," said the physician, although in a gentled tone. He rose to his feet. "How can the royesse choose good actions without good knowledge?"

An all too cogent point. Cazaril chewed on it in embarrassment as he followed the dedicat back upstairs.

Betriz leaned out onto the corridor at the sound of their approaching steps. "Is he going to be all right?" she demanded of Rojeras.

Rojeras held up a hand. "A moment, my lady."

They made their way into the royesse's sitting chamber, where Iselle waited bolt upright on the carved chair, her hands tight in her lap. She accepted Rojeras's bow with a nod. Cazaril didn't want to watch, but he did want to know what was said, and so sank into the chair Betriz anxiously dragged up for him, and to which Iselle pointed. Rojeras remained standing in the presence of the royesse.

"My lady," Rojeras said to Iselle, bowing again as if in apology for his bluntness, "your secretary is afflicted with a tumor in his gut."

Iselle stared at him in shock. Betriz's face drained of all expression. Iselle swallowed, and said, "He's not... not dying, surely?" She glanced fearfully at Cazaril.

Rojeras, losing his grip on his stated principles of forthrightness in the face of this, retreated briefly into courtly dissimulation. "Death comes to all men, variously. It is beyond my skills to say how long Lord Cazaril may yet live." His glance aside caught Cazaril's hard, pleading stare, and he added faithfully, "There is no reason he may not continue in his secretarial duties as long as he feels well enough. You should not permit him to overtax himself, however. By your leave, I should like to return each week to reexamine him."

"Of course," said Iselle faintly.

After a few more words on the subject of Cazaril's diet and duties, Rojeras made a courteous departure.

Betriz, tears blurring her velvety brown eyes, choked, "I didn't think it was going to be—had you guessed this when—Cazaril, I don't want you to die!"

Cazaril replied ruefully, "Well, I don't want me to die either, so that makes two of us."

"Three," said Iselle. "Cazaril—what can we do for you?"

Cazaril, about to reply, nothing, seized this opportunity instead to rap out firmly, "This above all—kindly do not discuss this with every castle gossiper. It is my earnest desire that this stay private information for—for as long as may be." For one thing, the news that Cazaril was dying might give dy Jironal some fresh ideas about his brother's death. The chancellor had to return to Cardegoss soon, possibly frustrated enough to start rethinking his missing corpse problem.

Iselle accepted this with a slow nod, and Cazaril was permitted to return to his antechamber, where he failed to concentrate upon his account books. After the third time Lady Betriz tiptoed out to inquire if he wanted anything, once at the royesse's instigation and twice on her own, Cazaril counterattacked by declaring it was time for some long-neglected grammar lessons. If they weren't going to leave him alone, he might as well make use of their company. His two pupils were very subdued, ladylike, and submissive this afternoon. Even though this meek studious virtue was something he'd long wished for, he found himself hoping it wouldn't last.

Still, they brushed through the lessons pretty well, even the long drill on court Roknari grammatical modes. His prickly demeanor did not invite consolation. The ladies, bless their steadfast wits, did not attempt to inflict any on him. By the end the two young women were treating him almost normally again, as he plainly desired, though around Betriz's grave mouth no dimples solaced him.

Iselle rose to shake out her knots by pacing about the chamber; she stopped to stare out the window at the chill winter mist that filled the ravine below the Zangre's walls. She rubbed absently at her sleeve, and remarked querulously, "Lavender is not my color. It's like wearing a bruise. There is too much death in Cardegoss. I wish we'd never come here."

Considering it impolitic to agree, Cazaril merely bowed, and withdrew to make himself ready to go down to dinner.